Feeling frazzled or flat? It might just be the way you’re breathing

Midlife comes with its fair share of emotional highs and lows. One minute you’re switched on and juggling everything, the next you feel foggy, restless or completely overwhelmed.

What many women don’t realise is that their breathing patterns are often reinforcing the very stress they’re trying to escape. Shallow, rapid,or erratic breathing can keep your body in a low-level fight-or-flight mode – even when nothing’s wrong.

But when you learn how to shift your breath consciously – with the right breathing exercise tool – you can send a powerful message to your nervous system. A signal that it’s safe to settle. That’s the difference between feeling stuck in a stress loop… and starting to come back to centre.

The science of why breath changes everything

Your breath is directly linked to the autonomic nervous system, which controls things like heart rate, digestion, and stress response. At the heart of that system is the vagus nerve: an internal communicator that helps your body switch between states of high alert and deep rest.

When your exhale is longer than your inhale – formerly known as extended exhale breathing – it activates the parasympathetic branch (your “rest and restore” mode). This slows your heart rate, lowers blood pressure, reduces cortisol and calms a racing mind.

In fact, a 2021 study published in Frontiers in Human Neuroscience found that slow-paced breathing with extended exhales significantly increased vagal activity and heart rate variability – key indicators of nervous system regulation and emotional resilience.

In other words, this could mean fewer spirals, steadier moods, better sleep and even support for hormone regulation.

3 breath techniques that work in under 5 minutes

You don’t need an hour-long meditation session or a fancy routine to reap the benefits. These quick breathing tools may shift your mood and physiology in just a few minutes. Try them one at a time, or rotate based on what your body needs.

1. Box breathing

Best for: Anxiety, overthinking, pre-sleep nerves

This Navy SEAL-approved method brings structure and calm to racing thoughts. By creating equal-length pauses between each inhale and exhale, it helps regulate the nervous system and anchor the mind. It’s especially helpful if you’re feeling scattered, overstimulated or lying awake at night replaying the day.

How to do it:

• Inhale for 4 counts
• Hold for 4 counts
• Exhale for 4 counts
• Hold for 4 counts
• Repeat the cycle 4–6 times. Visualising a square as you breathe can help anchor your focus.

2. Extended exhale breathing

Best for: Feeling triggered, panicked or overstimulated

By lengthening the exhale, you activate the vagus nerve and invite your body into a more relaxed state. This sends a clear signal that the “danger” has passed, even if the threat was only mental or emotional. It’s a quick, effective way to downshift when your body feels like it’s on high alert.

How to do it:

• Inhale for 4 counts
• Exhale slowly for 6 to 8 counts
• Repeat for 2–5 minutes

This technique is especially helpful during hormonal shifts, hot flushes or moments of emotional intensity.

3. Belly breathing

Best for: Tension, digestive discomfort, menopause-related gut stress

Also known as diaphragmatic breathing, this method encourages full-body oxygenation and helps downregulate stress. When you breathe deeply into your belly, you give your diaphragm space to move – improving circulation, aiding digestion and calming an overactive nervous system. It’s a gentle way to reset when your body feels tight or dysregulated.

How to belly breathe? Follow these instructions:

• Sit or lie comfortably. Place one hand on your chest, one on your belly.
• Inhale deeply through the nose, allowing your belly to rise.
• Exhale slowly through the mouth, letting your belly fall.
• Continue for 5 slow breaths, paying attention to where the breath moves.

If the chest rises more than the belly, you’re likely still breathing shallowly. Let the breath drop lower each time.

What makes breathwork so powerful for midlife women

Perimenopause and menopause aren’t just physical; they come with emotional upheaval, identity shifts and stress you didn’t see coming.

A body of research published in this Healthline article suggest that breathwork helps in more ways than one:

• Regulates the nervous system during mood swings and hot flushes
• Supports better sleep by calming the body before bed
• Grounds you during anxious moments or brain fog
• Offers a sense of control in a season where many things feel unpredictable

Best of all, breath reconnects you to your body. That alone can be transformative when your body feels unfamiliar.

How breathwork is used in retreat settings

At Homefield Grange Retreat, breathwork is woven into everything from restorative yoga to guided body therapies. It’s not about performance or perfection, but creating a sense of safety and support from the inside out.

Guests often share that just a few minutes of mindful breathing each day shifts everything: digestion improves, anxiety softens, energy feels steadier. When paired with movement, nutrition and sleep support, breath becomes one of the most accessible and impactful tools we can offer.

Final takeaway: breathe first, then decide

Before you make a decision, send that email or spiral into self-doubt… pause. Try one of these breathing exercises.

Because while life doesn’t always slow down, you can. And in doing so, you shift the way you meet the moment – calmer, clearer and more grounded.

No equipment. No cost. Just your breath, working with you.